There’s No Business Like It

There’s No Business Like It

by Camille Saviola  |  April 1, 2010

Hello dear readers of LaStageBlog. My name is Camille Saviola and I am a recovering artist. Wait a minute. Who am I kidding?

Recovery, my foot. I have been a performing artist my entire life.

I always say that I will die with my artist’s boots on.

I wrote the following whimsical piece in honor of my journey.

And it has truly been an honor. And a blessing to be able to dance on the tips of stars with the muses. Please enjoy.

I was born on an exotic out-island of New York

The Bronx

And although pink is for girls

I was born blue

Because my umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck

That’s the color I came out

Still…it’s a metaphor that applies

After that harrowing experience

I cried for 9 months

They had to knock my mother out with meds

She should have thrown me against the wall like a

Strand of spaghetti

See if I would stick

Since I already had a talent to amuse

I figured why not show business?

The hours are good

You meet interesting people

There’s no heavy lifting

Five years old

Lip-synching to Elvis Presley

And Bobby Darin records

Oh the shark bites

And he bit hard

The show business shark

I still have the teeth marks

I was hooked

Line and sinker

Fast Forward

Eleven years old

My father buys Judy at Carnegie Hall

Double album set

I am smitten

This is another thing

Altogether

Art

I spend hours in black tights

And a white shirt

Lip-synching

To her voice

Thirteen years old

Little Miss In-Between

I audition for The High School of Music and Art

In Harlem

I sing

Zing Went the Strings of My Heart

A cappella

I go for the big finish

I am flushed with joy and ignorance

They look stunned

Time passes

A letter arrives from Music & Art

I am accepted

Will wonders never cease?

It teaches me that

Ignorance is bliss

And Joy is contagious

Fourteen/Fifteen years old

I cut school

To stalk Judy

At the airport

At her hotel

At rehearsals

One day

I blurt out

Judy, I have to sing

She replies

Then you should sing

She continues

I only sing because I can’t do anything else

Can you imagine?

I didn’t understand it then

I understand it now

She let me carry her make-up case for her

It teaches me what greatness is

Sixteen years old

I graduate from The H.S. of Music and Art

I receive a music scholarship

My teachers talk to my parents

I could become the greatest contralto

Of the 20th century

They say

Contralto roles?

I see no future in it

Besides

I’m a tenor

Oh the shark bites

That summer

Sweet sixteen

That summer

I become an apprentice

At The Melody Fair Summer Theatre

North Tonawanda New York

Near the Canadian border

Ah

Sweet freedom

I clean toilets

I change scenery

I dress actors in the dark

I perform kiddie matinees

I get hit on by musicians

Word spreads

JAILBAIT

It all teaches me the meaning of the word

GRUNT

The contralto thing is sounding better

I move into a transient hotel in Greenwich Village

Six years later

A lot has happened

Twenty two years old

I am on tour

The Rock Opera Tommy

I play The Mother

AND

The Acid Queen

In some cities they review me

As two different people

They’re not wrong

We play a week at

The Melody Fair Summer Theatre

Yes

The very same

Where I grunted

It teaches me

That you can go back again

But

Only with billing

So

THE COSTUMES

THE SCENERY

It hasn’t been a boring life

THE MAKE-UP

THE PROPS

I have painted in broad strokes

THE AUDIENCE

The early years

THAT LIFTS YOU WHEN YOU’RE DOWN

I still have 32 years to account for

THE HEADACHES

THE HEARTACHES

It gets really juicy

THE BACKACHES

THE FLOPS

And rich

THE SHERIFF WHO ESCORTS YOU OUT OF TOWN

I’d like to quit show business

But then

THE OPENING WHEN YOUR HEART BEATS LIKE A DRUM

I remember

That joy is contagious

THE CLOSING WHEN THE CUSTOMERS DON’T COME

And ignorance is bliss

ALL TOGETHER NOW!

And I think of all those blissful ignoramuses

SING IT LOUD NOW!

Full of beauty and dreams

I WANNA HEAR YOU!

Who have been bitten

THAT’S IT!

And against all reason

THERE’S

Want to spread joy through art

NO BUSINESS

And don’t have a clue

LIKE

And can use some inspiration

SHOW BUSINESS

And passion

LIKE

And some old school knowledge

NO BUSINESS

I can work with that

I KNOW

The art of

Show Business

It teaches me that

Passing it on

Is

A Privilege

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5 Responses to “There’s No Business Like It”

  1. Carol Kline says:

    We all hail YOU! CAMILLE! Heaven sent for our lives ….and entertainment!!

  2. Lili Lakich says:

    Wonderful, Camille.
    You’ve had an amazing career.
    Keep on writing your own words, rather than lyp-syncing others.
    Look forward to your new one-woman show. And the opera!

    Love ya,
    Lili

  3. carlyle says:

    Ah C…you tell it true….miss you and love you…Alooohaaaa!

  4. mary ann says:

    you are the greatest.keep on truckin.there are still thousands who have yet to watch you perform.love you bunches. maryann

  5. michael marotta says:

    Ms. Saviola’s considerable talents are obviously not restricted to the stage. Her wit and insight sizzle on the page as well as they have for ‘lo these many years and raise the burning question “when does the memoir hit the press?” Brava!

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